i hadn’t realized how bad my ex had fucked up my self esteem until i kissed cody tonight. i’m so self concious, i can’t open up to anyone that way. all that i have running through my mind is a million things that could be wrong with me. i haven’t had a serious boyfriend in the past 4 years, which is since my only real relationship…which proved out to be not very ‘real’ at all..i fought so hard for that and just fought for the attention for so long and got absolutely nothing back, that i just feel so unworthy of love.